#1 Emotional Trap That Mothers Fall Into: Mommy Guilt
Tony Robbins in his book Awaken The Giant Within explains guilt as an emotion that tells you that you have violated your highest standards. He also explains that the emotion of guilt triggers action.Mommy Guilt is different from normal guilt because for most times it is just something that fills you with self-doubt. The one that you know in the mind that it is not your fault, but you keep feeling guilty about it. The unreasonable guilt. And instead of driving to action, it drives us to inaction and overwhelms.
Do you believe you do not deserve to spend time for yourself or just sit down for one moment and breathe? Do you feel you will be judged as a bad mother if you do?
Let me tell you right here and right now. Mommies, you don’t have to feel this way anymore. You seriously don’t. You are good enough and more than that. We all are. Our minds often waiver a lot and tell us something else but truly and deeply we are all good mothers doing more than enough for our kids with great love and care.
We are in an era with no village. We are here to teach ourselves. We have a lot to learn in a short period with not much help. Naturally, we are all stressed out and not thinking straight. We do way too much now than any other mother ever has. Still, our mind tells us we are inadequate.
Say Bye To Mommy Guilt Forever – The Seven Step Rule Update formula
We need to tell our mind to shut up. We need to call it’s B.S before we fall into its trap.
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I am going to teach you a simple formula that I have successfully used to shut my mental dialogue which tells you that you are not a good enough mother.
7 step rule update formula
Right Here! Stop Right Here! And then follow these steps!
1. Close your eyes and take a deep breath in and exhale slowly for 6-8 counts.
2. Now acknowledge that your mind is feeling guilty at this moment.
3. Figure out which of your rules have you broken?
I work, and kids are in day car every day. I must spend all my remaining time at home with my children. If I don’t do this, everyone will hate me. This is the rule you have broken.
4. Now realize that you cannot beat yourself for breaking your unachievable rule forever. Remind yourself that very consciously that this feeling of guilt triggers us to take action.
5. The action is to change this rule to a new accommodating rule: I have to spend all my time at home with my children except for the times when I need time to recharge myself for my happiness.
6. Repeat this rule to yourself three times.
7. Now realize that when you have changed the rule, you feel better about yourself. You have acknowledged your need to recharge. You have acknowledged that you need to be happy for yourself and family. This means you are still a good enough mother. Your rules were inadequate. Now your subconscious mind has new complete information on your existing rule.
See how easy it is to update your mental rules one by one? Doesn’t this make you feel much lighter in your head?Why working on mommy guilt is important?
Imagine how living with minimum or no guilt will make you feel?
How free the mind will be? All the added stress, tensed muscles, the aches will go away.Since you are now not filled with guilt, your mind is free to think of better ways to deal with the issues of the family.
You have got the space you have always wanted and mental clarity to think better. You are in general in a better mood which means that will reflect on how you tend to your children and in return they will be happier.
And then sometimes you will find new ways to find yourself ridden with guilt and your mind will wander again to tell you how inadequate you are because you broke some other rule. But then you will have perfected the “Rule Update” formula and the time taken to kill the guilt will become significantly shorter and you will have become a lot happier.
If this formula has helped you in any way, I would love to hear your feedback. Please feel free to share in comments below.