Disclaimer: I am not a “mommy war” supporter. I believe we all try to do the best we can, and have our own special ways of parenting and nurturing our kids. Find what works for you and your family and embrace it. Word.
So, I’m probably going to incite a “mommy war” with this post. At least I might at my daughter’s school if any of the fellow moms discover it. Might my words come off a bit judgmental? Perhaps. Might we see things differently when it comes to kids’ celebrations? Likely. Can we agree to disagree? I hope.
So what’s the story?
It all started with Kindergarten graduation. Is that even a thing? According to my husband, also a teacher, he argues there isn’t. But let’s just call this a milestone moment, shall we?
Next year, my daughter will officially move to elementary school. The structure of her day will be more formal. She’ll reside on a bigger campus. The academic rigor will increase. She’s my baby – the youngest of three – but next year she’ll be just a little more grown up and a lot more independent.How do you celebrate graduating from Kindergarten? #momlife #kindergarten Click To Tweet
So milestone moment? YES!
A moment to acknowledge? Sure.
But how to celebrate? Let’s discuss.
One of the moms at our private Montessori decided to take the lead in planning a Kinder graduation ceremony. Great, I thought, one last time to get together with friends and take some pics to mark the occasion.
So “said mom” went to town, and the emails started to come at rapid speed.
“Please send in a check and measurements so I can place a cap and gown order.”
Really, is that necessary? But OK. I measured and wrote the check to “said mom.”
“Please tell me how many individuals will be attending the ceremony.”
Hmmm … mom, dad, maybe the brothers. Yup, so I replied.
But then the event took a turn.
“We’ve identified a fabulous location for the festivities … a country club with sweeping views. There will be a bar for the parents and guests … we can use the facility from 6 p.m. to 9:30 p.m. An estimated $39 a head.”
WTF! Are we planning a Kinder celebration or a wedding?
So I decided to be bold – or stupid – and reply to all with a note.
“Thanks so much for all of the coordination … Just throwing out a different option. I might be in the camp of keeping it simple, but perhaps we can explore a park play date or a trip to the local Pump it Up? Perhaps consider a more kid-friendly venue?” Send.
The mom who had planned immediately shot down my ideas saying other locations would not be able to accommodate the families. A few other moms came to her defense, welcoming the country club soiree. I, on the other hand, was wondering if I was crazy! Was this about flaunting money and showboating? Was this about a Kindergarten graduation? Was I failing to get on board and embrace the festivities?
And then … a few other moms chimed in and agreed a more kid-friendly venue would be welcome. Notes that a few “boys and girls” would welcome the opportunity to play and run around were shared.
So a compromise was made. We could cancel the country club and embrace a park venue, but the mom was firm about requesting dollars for catering. Sigh. So I wrote one more check for catering – when really I think we should just order pizza and call it a day.
Next year, my daughter will head to public school, while some of these peers will transition to another private school for their elementary years. I doubt we will face a similar situation in the near future, but you never know.
I suppose we can agree to disagree. This mom was about coordinating a fancy event – and in my opinion went overboard. I just want to mark the moment in a simple way with a few pics and a hug and kiss from my growing girl. I want her to have a few more hours to run free with her friends – play tag, laugh and say farewell as they part ways.
Is one approach better than the other? If I’m being fair, I guess I need to say, “to each their own.” But really, this is one childhood milestone. The sweeping views and bar can wait. Let’s make it about our sweet-faced kids and “keep it simple.” Shall we?