Fifth Place is Better than First

It is crazy how our roles change so much when we become mom and not just wife. I too am thankful that my husband values the time he gets to spend with our two young daughters.  Guest blogger Naomi Pelss is here to share with us how she moved from first place to fifth.


I am in fifth place.  I used to be in first place.  I was first place on my husband’s “list” of who he spent the most time with.  I was the only one.  He spent all his time with me and we had all the time in the world. There was no one else in his world whom he loved more than me.

[bctt tweet=”I am in fifth place. I used to be in first place. #momlife #marriage” username=”NaomiPelss”]

Then when our daughter was born, I fell to second place.  She earned first place on my husband’s “list”.  With each child born into our family, I fell further down the ranks.  I am now in fifth place.  There are four little people who place above me.  Four other people come before me when it comes to spending time with my husband.  Sometimes they fight for first place.  Everyone wants his time and undivided attention.  I am by nature a very competitive person and I have a strong desire to be the best I can be.  However, in this situation, I am okay with placing last.

To me, fifth place is better than first.  It means that our children come first.  We know that our children need our time and attention.  Our children need their father.  Sure, I need him too, but I can wait.  I will get my time with him and it will not be taken for granted.  I have faith in our marriage.

On rare occasions, I slide back up to the top of the ranks and I sit at first place.  If only for an evening or a day, I cherish the moments with my husband and I am reminded of earlier times.  My reign usually ends abruptly when reality comes crashing down and I am ejected from first to last place once again.  I am okay with this.  Although I place last on the “list of priorities”, I do not feel like I am losing.  I feel like I am winning.  I have won the best husband, the best father for my children, and the best family life.  I believe fifth place is better than first for me.

I hope my husband will continue to put the children first in his life. Our children are winning and that is how it should be.

Naomi HeadshotNaomi Pelss is a wife and mother of four children age 10 months, 7, 10, and 12. Her youngest blessing came when she was 41 years old. Naomi is the manager of a child care center, and has been a registered Early Childhood Educator for almost twenty years. She blogs about her parenting journey at Some of her posts are sappy and sentimental, and some of her posts are funny and crude. All of her posts are honest and real.