Letting Myself Go
[bctt tweet=”Ugh, I thought, I am really “letting myself go”” username=”naomipelss”]
I saw a photo of myself that someone had taken on the weekend and it wasn’t real flattering. Wow, the camera really does add ten pounds…or more…I thought. I have really put on weight. Then today, as I was heading out the door, I took a quick glance in the mirror and realized my shirt was inside out. The tag was sticking out. It was just a tank top that was underneath another top so it wasn’t that noticeable. But really, can I not even dress myself anymore? And when did I last get a haircut? My roots are starting to show. Do not even get me started on my nails, eyebrows, or feet…
Ugh, I thought, I am really “letting myself go”
But oddly, it doesn’t bother me as much as I thought it would. Years ago it would have bothered me a great deal. This mummy tummy would not have been acceptable at all and I definitely would have taken the time to turn my shirt the right way. I used to style my hair every day. Today, I didn’t bother to change my shirt because no-one would see it and I left the house with wet, un-styled hair right out of the shower. I have been thinking about the phrase “letting myself go” and I think I need to modify it.
At this point in my life, perhaps I have not “let myself go” but rather just
I have let go of the idea that I have to be perfectly dressed all the time. I do have standards (like not wearing pyjamas in public), but an inside-out undershirt or matching socks that no-one will see are not important to me. Getting my children dressed and off to school is more important.
I have let go of the obsession of having a flat stomach. I may never have a flat stomach again. It doesn’t mean that I have given up on the idea of losing a little weight or eating healthier. It may happen sometime in the future. But I have let go of the notion for now. As unflattering as it is, this tummy held four of my most beautiful blessings.
I have let go of worrying about what my hair looks like. I tried to get my hairdresser to make me look like Heidi Klum, but it didn’t really pan out. I’m not that worried about it. I will get my hair done some day and until then, I consider it a success if my hair gets washed and brushed. I am not Heidi Klum, nor does anyone expect me to be. I am a mother. I am Naomi Pelss.
I have let go of the need to have pampered, soft and pedicured feet. This Momma’s feet do a lot of travelling and there is no extra time for pedicures and foot massages. Once in a while, my daughter will paint my toenails and that is enough for me. My feet are not my top priority. My children are.
I have let go of spending too much time on myself because there are five people I put before me every day. My children and husband come first and my needs are met after.
I have let my family’s needs come first.
If that is what it means to “let yourself go” then I am okay with it.
Naomi Pelss is a wife and mother of four children age 10 months, 7, 10, and 12. Her youngest blessing came when she was 41 years old. Naomi is the manager of a child care centre, and has been a registered Early Childhood Educator for almost twenty years. She blogs about her parenting journey at www.morewithfourblog.com Some of her posts are sappy and sentimental, and some of her posts are funny and crude. All of her posts are honest and real.