Editor’s note: Today we welcome Mandy Waysman as today’s guest poster. She’s telling us the story of what happened when her daughter didn’t like the way a banana was given to her. We hope you enjoy it as much as we did!
Last night the children almost broke me. There was some foreshadowing early on that hinted the night was not going to be what I had pictured (a nice visit with my parents at their home.) I didn’t believe my gut though (after all it had told me to eat that McDonalds and that turned out to be the wrong thing.) I naively went on and deluded myself into thinking if I smiled enough it would be infectious.
I think the first clue was when Nina started crying because… umm what was it that time? oh, her water was moved? Because we were racing and she then didn’t want to race, but then she did, but then she didn’t… ?
Sophie (5) helped me hold down the fort with the water thing. She tried to hand over the water to Nina (3 years.) Nina said “thank you.” But then decided she wanted to rescind it. Nina proceed to argue for 10 minutes with Nana about how she didn’t say thank you (she did.) I thanked Sophie and told her I appreciated her acting well because Nina was feeling a little weepy. Sophie went full Benedict Arnold (remember him?) and told Nina: “Mom said you’re a little weepy.” That honestly didn’t help things.
Next Nina was picking flowers. She picked a flower for Nana. Then she came to me with a flower and said “Here Mom. This is your flower- it a dead one.” I mean the message there was pretty clear. I still wanted to believe it was going to be a good night. I laughed off the implied threat and said – if anything happens to me tonight, you all saw that, right?
The night went on with much weeping, arguing, and behavior of that sort. And the girls were not being the best either. Notably were the Banana fits. First, Sophie received the wrong half of the banana. I’m not even going to explain which end that was because you don’t have to be a monkey to figure out which side of the banana is the most desirable. Well, once Sophie was sorted out Nina saw that Sophie had the peel with her banana and she didn’t. From there Nina’s heart wept for a banana like her sister’s. Alas no bananas remained. I attempted to fix the situation with my fast thinking – offering Nina a banana on a stick (classic Mandelynn). I grabbed a spoon, turned it up side down and stuck the banana on it. Had we been at a fair, I am confident I could have cashed in big time. Nina was not having it. She dropped it on the ground. In fairness probably 90% of the them would have ended up on the ground at the fair too. Then she weeped more.
When it was time to go (I called time when I saw the night was not going to come out of the pisser) and we finally got in the car I said “What can we do to make sure that this doesn’t happen again?” Sophie gave the expected: “we have to be good.” Nina on the other hand whipped out : “We can stay the night at Nana and Papa’s HOUSE!” Someone call the burn unit for me, will ya?
When was the last time your kids went nuts? Make me feel better.
My name is Mandy Waysman. Got a problem? Yo, I’ll Mom it. I have 2 daughters and a husband that I love to pieces. My work can be found at In The Powder Room as well as humorwriters.org and most recently on BonBon Break. I am also a contributor on Sammiches and Psych Meds. Please follow me on my blog, Facebook or Twitter ,