Before we read April’s beautiful piece, Mom, You Got This, we want to remind you we launch our newest book, Lose the Cape: Never Will I Ever (and then I had kids!) next Wednesday! We are still looking for reviewers and bloggers in exchange for a free ecopy of the book. If you’d like to participate, please sign up HERE. The blog tour will be ongoing for several months.Â
Additionally, each week leading up to the launch, we’ve been giving away a print copy of our first book, Lose the Cape: Realities from Busy Modern Moms and Strategies to Survive. Congratulations to Susanna who won last week. Enter for your free print copy at the end of this post!Â
As I stood in the kitchen to wash the dishes for the third time on Monday, my ears perked up to a question asked on one of my favorite podcasts. The host asked the guest a question from a fan:
Host: Why do you think most mothers act like they always have their
s*t together and that their kids are perfect?Â
Guest: I think for the most part, we mothers have our stuff together.
We’re all doing the best we can.
From For Crying Out Loud with Stefanie and Lynette, with guest Julie Kasem
Her response was phenomenal. The rest of the conversation talked more about how we’re quick to point out our flaws, how our laundry lives in the dining room and that we haven’t cooked a meal for the family for a week. You have to remember what you did manage to accomplish.
She’s right. Momma’s got it together.
[bctt tweet=”#moms, Don’t forget about all the things you didn’t forget this week! #losethecape”]
In the world that we’ve created, mothers are stretched far and wide. Some of us wake early and manage to get in a full days worth of work before anyone else awakes. Others stay up late into the evening to satisfy the “need to do today” list. How do we feel better about the dent we didn’t make in our “need to do tomorrow” list?
Embrace Your Strengths
I’m not only talking to those Pinterest moms who manage to make masterpieces out of a pipe cleaner and piece of paper. I’m also talking to the mom who manages to get their kid to bed EVERY NIGHT at 7 p.m. (yes, they’re out there), and the mother who keeps a gorgeous house and the mother who sits on the floor and plays with her children every day. Each of us have our strengths, we have our skills, and, quite frankly, we have what we like to do.
I’m one of the few people who enjoy laundry. We rarely have a full load in the hamper and I get it done at least weekly, more often if need be. I have a simple solution. I use a laundry sorter and when it’s full, I wash. The kids are responsible for making sure their clothes makes it in the sorter. Then I sit on my bed and fold the clothes into the piles that I can directly transfer into their drawers. My son folds his own clothes. For him, the only requirement is that I don’t see the clothes sticking out of the drawers. Out of sight, out of mind.
Acknowledge Your Imperfections
No one’s perfect. Martha Stewart looked like Suzie Homemaker, but we found out later, that she left much to be desired in the mommy department.
We each have only 24 hours in a day. Some of us are great time managers. The rest of us, well, not so much. That to- do list has increased steadily every day, and you feel like you’re drowning.
What can you do about what’s not getting done? Quite simply, ask for help. Or demand it out of your children. I know one of the biggest challenges is that they don’t do it like you do it.
They won’t… until you teach them. Whether it’s cooking, cleaning, reading or the never-ending pile of clothes that need folding.
In the beginning it sucks, a lot of extra work and you can do it better and faster, but eventually, they’ll get it.
In this household, I don’t like cooking. My husband takes pride in what he cooks and how he cooks it. He raves about it. Even though he comes from a traditional family, he is sometimes shy about his strengths, but not me. I’m not shy about his strengths at all. He gets cooks dishes that I can’t imagine trying. I have no problem pointing out his crowd-pleasing ability while I clean up the kitchen.
Be Okay With You
In general, we are all doing the best we can. I don’t know one mom who sits in front of the television day in and day out and refuses to accomplish everything. Some days I can conquer the world, other days, we binge on Disney movies.
Both are okay.
Not only that, both of these are NEEDED. No one can be on accomplishment mode all of the time. Give yourself a break, literally and figuratively.
If, for some reason, you feel that you aren’t doing your best. Do better. That’s all. No judgement. You can only be the judge of you.
We need all types of moms. Most of all, your children need you, in all your flaws and strengths.
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I am definitely not perfect and I am ok with that. I am doing my best and my kids know it 🙂
I am right there with you. There are days I will not get off that couch even if the house is a mess. Other days I am able to do about a million things done at once. We all try our best and we should cut ourselves some slack.
Very inspiring! As the holidays approach, I am feeling so exhausted and burnt out. It is important to take step back and pat ourselves on the back for everything we DO manage to get done. Thanks!
I totally appreciate this. Empowering moms is definitely one of the best things people can do. We handle so much pressure and it’s nice to be appreciated.
These are great points. I should really embrace my strengths instead of worrying about my weaknesses. I’m doing my best!
Moms are totally awesome. They have the kind of strength that can transform them into something extraordinary.
Highlighting what you did accomplish is super important to do and remember to do on a daily basis. Perfection is not always perfect.
I think that is truly what some people believe though…great article… very true and honest thank you
Not a mom, but those are valuable words for everyone! It’s so hard to be okay with you, but it helps to see posts like this every day!
I don’t have kids, but I agree with Jebbica that these are inspiring words for anyone. Be happy with you!
All moms are amazing and it’s always nice to be appreciated. I love this post.
Isnt’ that the truth?
Very Inspiring. I had a son and I am always doing my very best to give all to him 🙂
I don’t like cooking either! And my husband gets very proud and everyone praises him. It’s cool. I wish I could be that way about my own strengths! I wish I could lighten up on myself.
You are inspiring me!
I just keep reminding myself that it takes a village to raise a child….no one is perfect and we all have our different ways of parenting. That is why I invite my mommy friends over so they can sit on the floor and play (since I am not that person) while I cuddle on the couch with the other kids 🙂 Equal balance!
It’s so hard for us to see how much work we really do, when we still have some much work to do. I think we all need to sit back, relax, and celebrate ourselves. Great post!
I would love to read this book! Oh my goodness, I know there are a lot of stuff in there that I can very much relate to. I’ve been working full time, blogging on the side, raising kids and running a household all at the same time!
That would be awesome for you to get it. I believe it’s still on sale of $.99 on Kindle.
Here’s to us each seeing what we’re great at and not worrying about the things that we struggle with… Great post!
Life is too short to struggle with what we don’t do well and too beautiful to miss what we do. Thank you.
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We have a few things in common: i love laundry. I hate judgment. I think people are mostly doing the best they can. yes.
Interesting perspective. I have seen my own wife work it a step away from Death to get stuff done. And trying to get her to relax on any level. Or understand that everything worth building took time. And rest. And wine. Mothers get things done that would vex any other group of people in the world. In the most important way, they built the world.
What a lovely read. It’s a great reminder for all moms out there. We do the best we can and that’s really all that matters. It’s important that we don’t put too much pressure on ourselves. If we’re taking good care of our family then that’s all we need.
Such a wonderful post which, I am sure is so important for me & for all the moms around. I agree we need to cheer our-self about our strengths rather than just worrying about our weakness & stay positive all the way.