Before we read April’s beautiful piece, Mom, You Got This, we want to remind you we launch our newest book, Lose the Cape: Never Will I Ever (and then I had kids!) next Wednesday! We are still looking for reviewers and bloggers in exchange for a free ecopy of the book. If you’d like to participate, please sign up HERE. The blog tour will be ongoing for several months.
Additionally, each week leading up to the launch, we’ve been giving away a print copy of our first book, Lose the Cape: Realities from Busy Modern Moms and Strategies to Survive. Congratulations to Susanna who won last week. Enter for your free print copy at the end of this post!
As I stood in the kitchen to wash the dishes for the third time on Monday, my ears perked up to a question asked on one of my favorite podcasts. The host asked the guest a question from a fan:
Host: Why do you think most mothers act like they always have their
s*t together and that their kids are perfect?
Guest: I think for the most part, we mothers have our stuff together.
We’re all doing the best we can.
Her response was phenomenal. The rest of the conversation talked more about how we’re quick to point out our flaws, how our laundry lives in the dining room and that we haven’t cooked a meal for the family for a week. You have to remember what you did manage to accomplish.
She’s right. Momma’s got it together.
In the world that we’ve created, mothers are stretched far and wide. Some of us wake early and manage to get in a full days worth of work before anyone else awakes. Others stay up late into the evening to satisfy the “need to do today” list. How do we feel better about the dent we didn’t make in our “need to do tomorrow” list?
Embrace Your Strengths
I’m not only talking to those Pinterest moms who manage to make masterpieces out of a pipe cleaner and piece of paper. I’m also talking to the mom who manages to get their kid to bed EVERY NIGHT at 7 p.m. (yes, they’re out there), and the mother who keeps a gorgeous house and the mother who sits on the floor and plays with her children every day. Each of us have our strengths, we have our skills, and, quite frankly, we have what we like to do.
I’m one of the few people who enjoy laundry. We rarely have a full load in the hamper and I get it done at least weekly, more often if need be. I have a simple solution. I use a laundry sorter and when it’s full, I wash. The kids are responsible for making sure their clothes makes it in the sorter. Then I sit on my bed and fold the clothes into the piles that I can directly transfer into their drawers. My son folds his own clothes. For him, the only requirement is that I don’t see the clothes sticking out of the drawers. Out of sight, out of mind.
Acknowledge Your Imperfections
No one’s perfect. Martha Stewart looked like Suzie Homemaker, but we found out later, that she left much to be desired in the mommy department.
We each have only 24 hours in a day. Some of us are great time managers. The rest of us, well, not so much. That to- do list has increased steadily every day, and you feel like you’re drowning.
What can you do about what’s not getting done? Quite simply, ask for help. Or demand it out of your children. I know one of the biggest challenges is that they don’t do it like you do it.
They won’t… until you teach them. Whether it’s cooking, cleaning, reading or the never-ending pile of clothes that need folding.
In the beginning it sucks, a lot of extra work and you can do it better and faster, but eventually, they’ll get it.
In this household, I don’t like cooking. My husband takes pride in what he cooks and how he cooks it. He raves about it. Even though he comes from a traditional family, he is sometimes shy about his strengths, but not me. I’m not shy about his strengths at all. He gets cooks dishes that I can’t imagine trying. I have no problem pointing out his crowd-pleasing ability while I clean up the kitchen.
Be Okay With You
In general, we are all doing the best we can. I don’t know one mom who sits in front of the television day in and day out and refuses to accomplish everything. Some days I can conquer the world, other days, we binge on Disney movies.
Both are okay.
Not only that, both of these are NEEDED. No one can be on accomplishment mode all of the time. Give yourself a break, literally and figuratively.
If, for some reason, you feel that you aren’t doing your best. Do better. That’s all. No judgement. You can only be the judge of you.
We need all types of moms. Most of all, your children need you, in all your flaws and strengths.