Oh Mother’s Day…
Up until a few years ago, I didn’t really enjoy Mother’s Day. To be honest, I strongly disliked the day. I can go into a lot of explanations about my relationship with my mother, and the way I feel about motherhood itself, but I’m just going to say that I didn’t really want a day where my kids, who I spend EVERY day with, celebrate me. Especially since they were really too young to even understand what that means.
What I really wanted was some time to myself.
[bctt tweet=”I just want ME time on #mothersday. What about you? #momlife” username=”losethecape”]
Yes, I am one of those moms that if you ask, “What do you want for Mother’s Day?” I honestly say, “A day alone.”
Judge me if you must, but these little breaks that I get refuel me so that I can be a better mother.
This picture cracks me up, because my friend Kim and I toast each other every year, “Cheers to the reason we drink!”
So, three years ago, I was still grieving the loss of one of my infant twin daughters. I didn’t really realize I was still grieving, but I wasn’t back to my normal self either. When my friend Kim put out a message that said she had started a mother’s day tradition of grabbing a bite to eat and then going to see a movie if anyone wanted to join her, I said YES. This sounded perfect to me. I just wanted a quiet afternoon AWAY.
[bctt tweet=”My husband doesn’t get why I want ME time on #Mothersday but he doesn’t know what it’s like to be a #mom ” username=”losethecape”]
So, I told my husband that’s what I wanted to do on Mother’s Day.
He didn’t get it.
He wondered why I wanted to get away from my children on Mother’s Day.
[bctt tweet=”Be sure to celebrate YOU on #MothersDay #losethecape sometimes we need a break #moms” username=”losethecape”]
Because he knows nothing about being a mother. He knows nothing about how much I give, day in and day out, to be a wife and mother. To putting everyone else’s needs first. Begrudgingly some days, but their needs always have to come first. It’s just the nature of the beast.
Kim and I get each other. We know we both love our kids, but for our own personal reasons, Mother’s Day is tough and we prefer to do it differently.
That doesn’t mean I don’t love them. I love them all tremendously. But I love myself too. And I need a moment to refuel.
So while other mothers are having a family dinner and doing whatever they do on Mother’s Day – which was never very relaxing for me anyway, because what usually happened is I would host a family dinner and my sisters and I would prepare a meal for MY mother, and instead of celebrating me as a Mom, I was thrown into a stressful and over stimulating funnel of events, Kim and I enjoy each other.
I enjoy quiet. I enjoy eating a meal without children needing me to get up 50 times to help them with something, get them more milk, or cut their food. I enjoy adult conversation, and a glass (or three) of wine.
I greatly enjoy this tradition with my friend Kim.
I realize not every mother will understand this mentality. But this is Lose the Cape, y’all. This is the space where we say, “It’s okay that you do motherhood differently than me. We don’t have to be the same to be good mothers.”
And it’s also the space that I say, “Let go of the guilt. If you need some time to yourself, take it.”
You’ll only be a better mother for putting yourself first from time to time.
You don’t have to do it the way Kim and I do, but be sure to remember to celebrate YOU on Mother’s day.